Doctors are literally life savers and often have the patience of saints but my god can they get annoyed with us patients! Here’s the things we do that really wind them up. Sorry Dr!
Worst of all, fail to come and see us.
We love our jobs and want to help people. We always want to see you if you’re genuinely worried about something; you’re not wasting our time.
Harass us when you see us in the supermarket, or when we’re on the school run.
Sorry, but we don’t want to give you medical advice when we’re shopping for baked beans or dealing with a screaming child. Please make an appointment.
Don’t bother showing up at all.
All it takes is a quick call to let us know you’re not coming. If you do that, we can offer the appointment to someone else and cut those waiting times.
Do something really bloody stupid.
Injuries caused by pranks, stunts, and dares take up so much of our time, and they’re completely avoidable. Just stop it. It’s not worth the Facebook shares.
Mess about with our stuff.
These items have often been sterilised, and if you touch or tamper with them we’ll have to sterilise them
Don’t have a wash before your appointment.
We might be doctors, but we have a sense of smell and a gag reflex. So do us a favour and wash your feet before asking us to check your ingrown toenail.
Be a smartass.
Again, we only have 10-minute slots, and we need to figure out what’s wrong with you in that time. Help us out, get to the point, and don’t crack loads of jokes.
Refuse to give your children or teenagers privacy.
If your kid asks to speak to us alone, don’t say: “Anything you can say in front of the doctor, you can say in front of me.” That’s just not true. Give them space.
Furiously demand antibiotics for a cold.
Asking if you need antibiotics and accepting our reply is fine, but angrily demanding them when you’ve been told they won’t work? That’s just not OK.
Bring us stool samples in anything other than the airtight container we asked you to use.
That includes old takeaway containers, and leaky plastic bags. The horror.
Be rude or aggressive to our reception staff.
If they ask you questions, it’s because we – your
Gripe about the other doctors in our surgery.
It’s not like we’re friends or work colleagues or anything.
Convince yourself you have a rare disease based on scaremongering news stories.
We know it’s hard to avoid these kinds of stories, but try to be rational. Before demanding to be seen in an “emergency” because you think you have an Ebola/Zika hybrid, double check your symptoms. Ninety-nine per cent of the time, it’s just a cold.
Show up with an epic list of ailments.
Most general practice appointment slots are just 10 minutes long, which makes it hard to discuss 20 health issues. So please don’t save them up for weeks.
Fail to finish courses of medication, or completely ignore the instructions.
Not finishing courses of antibiotics is a leading cause of resistance. It’s also frustrating when you come back two weeks later and say you’re “still sick”.
Decide you know more about medicine than we do.
“Doctor, I checked WebMD and I’ve got Hirschsprung-Yinglebork disease!” No, you don’t. You have constipation and you need to accept that you just need some Senokot, a packet of figs, and a poo. Stop freaking out, it’ll be OK.